Would you buy this story?

That is way too many main characters! It might not be enough for you, but think if you were the reader: Would you be able to keep up with all the happenings of the characters? Three or four characters would be more comprehensible (10 characters all becoming the BEST of friends? I know there would be a huge conflict between all of them often!) I wouldn't say what year the story takes place (Why? Well, most books don't mention the year, unless they are taking place in the past or it's history. You can give off a few hints it takes place in present, or close to present day, without saying the year.) It'd be better if you separated the paragraphs. Many people who post their stories on this website looking for good feedback forget to do that and it looks like one big blob to me. It's good, though it's not my kind of story (I'm all that into Chick-Lit novels), though I might buy. Hopefully, you continue with it.